The Flower Writer

  • About Me
  • My Roots
  • The Flower Writer
  • Blog
  • Fairy Gardens
  • Talks and Events

Rosemary for Remembrance

Flower meanings· Folklore· History

3 Mar
Rosemary for Remembrance

“There’s Rosemary, that’s for remembrance; pray you, love, remember” is the famous line spoken by Ophelia during Hamlet and rosemary has long been associated with memories of the departed.  It was used historically in ancient Rome at funerals.  Rosemary was often planted at tombs to be an emblem of eternity.   It was also thought to be a protector from disease and it was said to ward off plague.  In Britain, in more recent times, mourners were sometimes given sprigs of rosemary to cast in the coffin to signify that they would not forget their dear friend.  It has happier meanings too as it was often put in wedding bouquets, this time, to symbolise fidelity.  A lover might send rosemary to let the other person know of their constancy and that they are thinking of them. The link between the two meanings and occasions is eloquently summed up by Sir Thomas Moore when he wrote, “Rosemary, it is the herb sacred to remembrance and therefore, to friendship”.

There are many plants which evoke precious memories

I suggest that many herb, plants and flowers, with their powerful scents and natural beauty can evoke precious memories.  You may remember times that you picked roses for your mother, grew sweet peas with your grandfather or simply took a walk with a friend and saw the bluebells.  That plant or flower becomes forever linked with memory and the love you feel for that person. As a nursery owner, I am so fortunate to connect with many customers on a daily basis.  Those customers can often become friends over the years and here are two plants which will always make me think of two special people.

Beauty of Bath Apples

Beauty of Bath Apple

When Mrs Pilbrow’s daughter brought me in some Beauty of Bath apples from the tree in her garden it was a poignant moment.  Mrs Pilbrow had supported us from when we first set up our nursery nearly 20 years ago.  It was a small second hand shed then, with an ice-cream tub as a till, a couple of display tables we had constructed from discarded crates and our daughter in the pram beside us as we potted up.  Mrs Pilbrow is one of those ‘gentle ladies’.  She was of the generation who always wore a skirt and blouse.  She had a round face, glasses, hair always neat and a smile that lit up her eyes.  She always had a tale to tell and we had one or two conversations about our husbands which made me laugh!  As our nursery grew we ‘expanded’ by buying a ‘brand new’ summer house which we used to display our locally grown vegetables and fruit.  She came bearing gifts every year.  She produced a box of hand-picked Beauty of Bath apples from her tree as a gift for us to sell.  She always said that she had so many that she and her husband could not eat them all and she didn’t want them to go to waste.  Beauty of Bath are not seen for sale much now.  It is because they are often small and, although they are a heavy cropper they do not have a long shelf life.

As the years pass we all get older

Of course, as years pass, so we all get older.  Our children, once in the pram, are at high school and college.  For Mrs Pilbrow it was her husband who struggled with his health first and, as it was him who brought her in the car, she called at the nursery less and less.  Once he passed away she missed him terribly.  When her daughter brought her to visit it was good to greet an old friend.   I am so sad that Mrs Pilbrow passed away just before lockdown.  I miss her.  Whenever I saw her it brought a smile to my face and a lift in my heart.  She cheered up my day.  Whenever I hear of beauty of bath apples I can only think of her.  Their smell, their taste, their texture and that summer smell in the air all bring her kindly smile back to me.

Hostas

Another person I have been so privileged to know is Richard Ford.  Although I knew him only as ‘The Hosta Man’ for years.  He and his wife used to pop into the nursery.  Those were the days when Paul and I would be working all hours in our 8ft x 10ft potting shed together as we potted, weeded and pruned.  He complimented us on our healthy plants and any compliment was gratefully received. 

Kindness and Modesty

Hostas coming up in my garden

The ‘Hosta man’ was not only kind but also very modest.  He mentioned, in passing, how he and his wife had had a nursery and how they had grown hostas before they retired.  He empathised with how hard we were working and laughed about having the children around us while we worked.  He reminisced about their own children growing up on their nursery.  But it was not for a few years that he dropped into the conversation that they were multiple Chelsea Gold medal winners.  It must have been so tempting to point our mistakes but he never did.  Instead he preferred to ask about plant trends, how trade was and to recommend that we should sell teas and coffees as they had found that their customers loved it.  Imagine my delight when, having just installed a ‘help yourself coffee vending machine’ they were our first customers to sit under our gazebo at the nursery.

Parting Gift

The last time I saw Richard we had a cup of tea together at the nursery and he gave me the book he had written about Hostas.  It is a treasure on my bookshelf.  He was unwell and I think we both knew it was a parting gift.  Every time I look at a hosta of any sort I think of him.  There always seemed to be so much to talk about and my abiding memory is of laughter and enthusiasm.  I sometimes half expect him to walk through the gate.

Holding people in our hearts and minds

The joy of meeting someone like this is that you pass the time of day, share ups and downs and there is no agenda, no judgement, no sense of responsibility.  There are just a few moments from time to time.  As the years pass you become close without even being aware of it.  As human beings we are privileged to be able to forge these links with others and they are never gone.  We will always be able to hold them in our hearts and minds and the plants and flowers help us to remember them.

Ruth Goudy

The Flower Writer

Mrs Pilbrow’s Beauty of Bath Apples on my windowsill.

Share this:

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • WhatsApp

Leave a Comment

Download my free ebook ‘How to connect with the Flowers’ here.

You will also receive newsletters so that you are the first to hear about talks and events, are notified when I publish flower blogs or YouTube videos and find out what is going on in the world of plants and horticulture.

ebook

You will receive an email with a link to download my ebook in your welcome email.

« The Helleborus is a tough, old girl
Cherry Blossom to lift the heart »

Please leave a comment Cancel reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Hello

My name is Ruth Goudy.
I am a professional garden writer and speaker. I have run a nursery and garden centre for twenty years with my husband and this inspires me to share the joy I feel when I am around nature and flowers. I am on social media and Youtube and would love you to follow me. I believe flowers are good for our wellbeing and the more people that are involved in the conversation about it the better!
Read More…

Download my free ebook ‘How to connect with the Flowers’ here.

You will also receive newsletters so that you are the first to hear about talks and events, are notified when I publish flower blogs or YouTube videos and find out what is going on in the world of plants and horticulture.

ebook

You will receive an email with a link to download my ebook in your welcome email.

Social Media

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

Instagram

Snowdrops on candlemas day. You can read my blog a Snowdrops on candlemas day.
You can read my blog all about why snowdrops are significant on 2nd February in my blog in the link in my bio. 
The white symbolises the purity as Mary makes her way to the temple after the birth of Jesus on this day. There are many other meanings and stories behind this precious flower that entrance me. I am delighted to be including the snowdrop as one of the flowers in my Flower Oracle Cards out later this year. 
#Snowdrops #folklore #Candlemass #white #flowers #purity #February #flowerhunting #peace #flowersmakemehappy #floweroracle #oraclecards
No filter needed for this blue sky. Thank heaven No filter needed for this blue sky. 
Thank heaven for sunshine on the last day of January. Rushing out to catch some rays of vitamin D. 
Disappointed that there were no flowers on my walk today but as a  trade-off there was plenty of blue. The brightness really hit the back of my eyes. What a feeling! 
And if anyone wonders why I am not good at walking down hillsides this is why. Proof that Suffolk is as flat as they say. 
#wonderfullife #bluesky #Suffolk #walking #vitaminD #nature #wellbeing #sunshine
This Escallonia was another rogue flower at the sh This Escallonia was another rogue flower at the show. Completely out of season but obviously attention seeking! 😉
It worked for me! 
One of my favourites for a medium evergreen hedge that flowers.
Living my best life with my husband. Visiting pla Living my best life with my husband. 
Visiting plant shows helps inspire us, consider what our customers @kilnfarmnursery are looking for and take a look at new plants and ways of displaying plants on the nursery. 
Although we grow 80% of our own stock it is always good to take a look and add new varieties. 
#plants #planthunting #flowers #flowerhunting #bestlife #teamwork #inspiration #January #horticulture
At a plant show today and Cheryl's Shine was a win At a plant show today and Cheryl's Shine was a winner for me.
#hellebore #plants #flowers #flowerhunting
We had polytunnel envy @ballcolegrave today lookin We had polytunnel envy @ballcolegrave today looking at their shrub liner nursery. Thank you for the invite @steve_m_austin 
@kilnfarmnursery will certainly be growing some of these shrubs this year. Lovely to see the peat free working well too.
Follow on Instagram
Copyright © 2023 Ruth Goudy · Privacy Policy

Download my free ebook ‘How to connect with the Flowers’

You will also receive newsletters so that you are the first to hear about talks and events, are notified when I publish flower blogs or YouTube videos and find out what is going on in the world of plants and horticulture.

ebook

You will receive an email with a link to download my ebook in your welcome email.